Ass-Kickin' bullet points

I just wanted to show off some particularly well executed bullet points that I did recently for a luxury travel company.

Have you ever seen bullet points like these before?

No, you f'ing haven't.


Reach High-Value, Affluent Consumers
• Users of the Bounce Global online service are diligent consumers who want the best luxury travel experiences available and have the means to take advantage of them.
• Your company gets exposure to travelers and agents who are actively seeking high-quality luxury travel.
• Advanced search features on Bounce Global’s web site match the appropriate travelers with your unique luxury travel services.


Do you have goosebumps, too?

from an e-mail to Capital Records

When I was three, my parents bought me "Baby's First Record Company" for my birthday. As the fake CEO of my own label (CootieSound Records), I spent hours upbraiding my younger brother (then two) for funneling huge amounts of play payola to pretend D.J.s, then lecturing him on make-believe business ethics and boasting about my manufactured hit-making acumen. I still have the little, cardboard, platinum records for Girls are Icky and Guess What? Chicken Butt hanging on the wall of my office. So, you can see why I'm so excited about the possibility of working for a real record company...